Anger at the Interwebs

Earlier this week, on my first day of work actually, my gmail account was hacked/spammed, and overall compromised. It sent a lot of people a phishing email saying I had been mugged in London, and that I needed money wired to me.

Now while it would be great to be in London, I'm actually in Wisconsin. Working. I have enough to deal with; I didn't need this.

I reported it to Google that my account had been compromised, changed my password, altered filters, but I am still having problems recieving emails. Hopefully, I can get this fixed once and for all soon, and won't have dramatic troubles with my blog, since they are both connected on the same Google account.

Why do people really have to be jerks sometimes?

I'm Not Homeless!

This past week marked a momentous occasion and the unloading of a lot of stress and paranoia. Why you may ask? Because I finally got my but in gear and claimed an apartment.

My future roommate, Rose, and I will be living in a new complex within 10 minutes of driving to work. For the first month, I'll be without a car, but I do welcome a 25 minute bike ride to work.



Also, two bedrooms, two full bathrooms, a breakfast bar in the kitchen, and a den? For less than $1300 a month? Hells yeah.

I'm excited. Feel free to post decorating ideas!

Well...Part 2

I know this is weird, but I am kind of happy that I almost let my blog die.

I neglected, or well, did not commit as much time to, my blog due to all the other activities in my life. I could make excuses, I could list off everything, or I could even make a long rambling assessment of how every situation has molded and changed me. I'm not going to do that now. Probably later. I like to write, and have a habit of rambling, but not now.

In my life now, is a different stage. I graduated from R.P.I. with a dual degree in Mathematics and Economics. I landed a job back in February. I am moving to a new city where I have never lived before. I may soon be able to have a laptop without a sticking e key.

About three days ago, I received an email detailing my total of loans and outlining repayment plans. On Monday I bought a professional looking bag for work. I just paid my bills including my last utility payment for my apartment in Troy. I am calling to finalize apartments tomorrow.

I am an adult. It is weird.

Kind of like a mixed corgi.



Yeah. I'm tired, just go with it <3

Well....

Thesis + Sculpture Portfolio + Boyfriend = Serious Lack of Posting :(

Correlation and Causation

Based upon yesterday morning and all of Sunday, I am starting to wonder if my mood is partially dependent upon the quality (fit, color, cuteness/sexiness) of my underwear.

High quality underwear makes me smile, yielding a higher probability of a sustained good mood.

Maybe this is why women should dress for themselves and not for other women or men?

Just a random thought that came to mind in Mathematical Statistics when discussing Bayes estimators.

3% of My Dancing is to Oldies

In a previous post, I let you in on the amount of time that I spend dancing in my apartment in my underwear. Of that time, there's a good chunk that is dedicated to "oldies". Oldies, for me, are not quite the classical definition of the genre. Instead, it's music from a by-gone era. Before auto-tune, before synthesizers, before music videos, there was still music that made people want to shake their hips and do a little dip.

The songs below make me smile. They make me move, make me dance. I know they make you and others dance too, since my Christmas Soiree went an hour longer than expected due to dancing to this music. Russ, Erin, and Jason, you all hold a special place in my heart for picking up your dancing shoes.

The following songs are some of my favorites to swivel and sway to. I adore Roy Orbison, and anyone who sneaks on to my computer will see the entirity of Elvis' music in my folders.


Roy Orbison "Mean Woman Blues": One of my favorites, we're all a bit mean sometimes.


Thurston Harris "Little Bitty Pretty One": You've all seen the movie "Matilda", if not, you need to remedy that. In addition, this song just makes me happy to dance in my room with the sunshine peeking through.


Elvis "Little Sister": The perfect song for a mischievous smile.


Jerry Lee Lewis "Great Balls of Fire": Start moving yet?


Roy Orbison "Pretty Woman": Can you not love this song? Seriously, if you have a problem with this song, I might question your humanity.

Enjoy friends. Put a smile on your face, some passion in your heart, kick up your skirts, and pick up your feet.

Blogsplosion!

It's been about a week since I posted last. My life is super busy, but creativity has been relatively constant, so it's time for a BLOGSPLOSION!

Quick Thought

I have a lot of hair. I apparently have very gorgeous hair. It happens to be one of the ways people identify me in a crowd.

I ask you then, what would change if half of it was gone?

To Those Who I Have Loved and Lost

Over the years that I have been dating, I have been fortunate enough to know and date some awesome guys. I say this due to their own credentials, personality, spunk, and smiles, but also for the lessons they have left with me. Everyone you meet in your life impacts you, and changes you, hopefully for the better, at some point. This is a note of appreciation to those men who helped make me a bit better.

Thank you for,
-Getting me to stop biting my nails and actually use a nail trimmer and/or scissors
-Remembering to brush my teeth before going to bed, that actually inspired me to floss
-Promoting my self esteem for myself
-Forcing me to do things on my own
-A lesson in empathy
-Teaching me to laugh at everything
-Encouraging me to try playing Rock Band even though I am horrible
-Enlightening me to legitimate New York bagels and pizza
-Showing me how great downtown Portland is
-Taking me to the East Side
-Giving me the confidence I thought I'd never gain back in a situation
-Letting me love fully and truly
-Becoming my best friend
-Watching Star Treck with me
-Encouraging all my little doodles
-Lessons in how to get along with roommates
-Forcing me to challenge myself

This list really does not serve much purpose besides a place for publishing a personal reflection, because I am fairly certain only one ex-boyfriend reads my blog with any frequency. Despite this, a lot of my life is fairly public, so it is only fitting to share the thoughts that make me think and appreciate.

One Week

No, I am not going to be discussing or nit-picking apart the amusing Barenaked Ladies video (Youtube is being annoying and won't let me embed the video). For those of you who are trying to forget that today is, in fact, a Monday, or for those of you who have lost track of their internal clock, today is February 7th. That means that it is one week until Valentine's Day.

No, this is not a bitter, angry, bitchy post.

This is a post of puzzlement and face-palming at advertising.

A while ago I "liked" or subscribed to some piece of merchandise from Victoria's Secret (VS). As much as I harp on them, I really do like the majority of their bras. The body stuff can be a bit much, the swimsuits are always good for a laugh, and I'm sure some of the "technology" in their bras really was created by NASA scientists. I have no idea how some of that "lift" is achieved. Anywho, due to my internet agreement, I often get posts by VS in my facebook newsfeed on my Droid. The postings are normally fine, intriguing, good for a laugh. Normally.

The exception to this is that I really do not need to be reminded every five posts that it is a week from Valentine's Day. VS, if you are able to see the information on my facebook profile, you would know I am not "in a relationship", "being complicated with" or any of the other non-single options. For that matter, I do not have any relationship status currently on my profile. It's just blank. I've been adopting a policy of not broadcasting this information to the world. It works out rather nicely. That being said, their programmed posts really should check if I have a "sweetie...or that hottie you friended last week".

Not to single out VS, I simply don't see the point of the excessive advertising that comes with this particular holiday. Yes, advertising publishes and circulates information about products leading to hopefully, greater sales of goods. I understand this for Christmas. I understand this for Thanksgiving and Halloween, however, Valentine's Day just seems like a mimic of old gender roles and stereotyping. If you are in a relationship, shouldn't the guy remember to do something sweet without images of pink teddy bears bombarding his brain? Shouldn't you yourself think to do something thoughtful for your guy or gal right back?

In my life since the start of dating, I've had Valentine's Days where I was single and happy about it, single and upset about it, and in a relationship. Heck, I asked one of my best boyfriends out on Valentine's Day at midnight and made him a delicious dinner after his computer science lab. I've had a boyfriend take me out to a great steak dinner. Chocolates have filled my stomach some years, and alcohol others.

I am not bitter, not angry, not lonely, not sad. I am actually at a pretty good place in my life. It's kind of awesome.

You know what I'll be doing this Valentine's Day?

Going to the pub with one of my best girl friends since it falls on a Monday, possibly working, and then looking like this watching romantic comedies with my roomie and red wine.



Oh, and eating chocolate. It's not Valentine's Day without large amounts of dark chocolate.

Will the Wonder End?

Maybe it's because I am still five years old at heart. Maybe it's because I ride the peaks as well as the valleys, and enjoy ever second of exhilarating rush that comes with cascading into the valley. Maybe it's because I still sometimes cuddle up with my favorite, and oldest, teddy bear at night. Maybe it's because I'm figuring out what to do with my life.

Nonetheless, I'm happy.

Maybe it's because I've been listening to happiness themed playlists on 8tracks.com, or that I really enjoy my sculpture class, even though I burned my left ring finger using the hot glue gun today. Maybe it's because water polo makes me smile whenever I try to do a hold. Everything just seems right. I am normally a happy person, but only for the moments. Something is different.

Happiness seems like it could be a permanent gig.

I'm a cynic, I'm an optimist, I'm crazy, I'm lovely, I'm exuberantly unsure of future enthusiasm. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I know where I've been. I think the fact that I am seriously contemplating wearing a cape to work next Wednesday says something about how joyful I can be. I don't know where I'm going, but it always seems there's a fluffy unicorn able to carry me back along to happiness.

I don't think I'm ever going to lose that unicorn.

In Portland Town, Oh Portland

By now, many of you, or anyone who is remotely internet savvy and possesses a facebook account, has heard of the internet show, "Portlandia" with Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein from SNL. If you have not heard about it or seen it, well that's why there's a link above. Go click and check it out.

"Portlandia" is a little show that both mocks stereotypes of Portland residents, neighborhoods, and the city's attitude while still being ridiculously hilarious. For anyone who lives or visits downtown, I personally think it's so amusing because of how close it hits close to home. While I technically live in unincorporated Washington County, I say I am from Portland. I hang around downtown a good deal, know the West side like the back of my hand, and can find my way around the East side. Also, you'd have to pay me good money to say I lived in Beaverton.



Many people know the show, but did you know that Portlandia is actually a large, iconic statue for the city? It's not just a made-up catchy title.

While "Portlandia" the show may be entertaining, I'm still not quite certain how I feel about it still, however, it did encourage me. On my last day home over Winter Break, I set out to be a tourist in my own city. Armed with my point and shoot camera, which apparently had almost no battery, I started in Pioneer Place and began to wander. Unfortunately, my camera gave out just as I was entering the Pearl. Pearl shots are subsequently captured with my phone, and by the time I got to the North West area and the East side, well, there's documentation in my mind, but not in any format that I can upload.

Thus, below, I give you another highly visual post. Welcome to some highlights of Portland. My Portland.


Children playing by a fountain is always adorable. Hi Pioneer Place.

These type of fountains are along both sides of the Pioneer Courthouse. What's cuter than otters?




Sorry bear, the otters are cuter.


The courthouse itself, as seen from the if you were facing towards the waterfront.


Awesomeness is awesome.


No writing about Ptown is complete without the Portland Man.



There is a special place in my heart for the food carts. Gold star to anyone who knows where they go to sleep at night.


Artsy-fartsy time. Welcome to the rear of the Arlene Schnitzer Hall.


In an attempt to take a picture of the works outside the Portland Art Museum, I accidentally captured a snapshot of a true Portland beard. In the Rose City, we do everything hard core.


Southpark Seafood Grill, why are you always so tasty?

This doesn't necessarily have a lot of cultural or historic meaning, but Clay is how you get to Sunset Highway, aka my mad dash home.







FINNEGAN'S! Prepare for pictures of stuffed animals. Finnegan's is the Northwest's largest independently owned toy store.


Where else am I going to find a stuffed Tasmanian Devil? Not the Looney Toons character.

Quality reading right there.

I have no idea what their message or cause was, but the signs looked cool.

Oh hi, Living Room theatre.

Please pardon the blurred pictures. At this point, I was taking pictures with my phone. While my little Droid 2 is awesome, it still can't compete with a quality Sony camera.

If I could die wandering the shelves of Powell's, I would be a lucky lass indeed. I love Powell's. That's about the simplest way to put it without sounding like a crazy fanatic. Powell's is the largest independent bookstore west of the Mississippi River. Powell's gives me hope for the world. It is the physical embodiment that print is not dead. If you are ever in Portland, visit Powell's. Take a coffee and get lost. It'll do your soul some good.

The Powell's pillar.






There is also Powell's 2; the technical bookstore, which recently relocated from deeper in the Pearl. Someone's got to stock books about mathematics, programming, and engineering.



Once again, I apologize for the picture quality. While hard to see the sign, this is the Deschutes Brewery Portland Pub. While I gained vast amounts of Portland knowledge when I was 16, obviously my knowledge of bars and pubs has been a bit minuscule. This was my first legal beer in Portland. I highly recommend the porter. On Portland beer notes, the Widmer Brother's hefeweizen is also fantastic.


Two gold stars to whoever can say this street correctly.

Unfortunately this is where most of the pictures end. I miss shopping at Ray's Ragtime and Three Monkeys. Getting my movie time in at the Fox Tower and then grabbing a donut at Voodoo Donut's. I miss the Cuban food at Pamiche. I miss flicks on the bricks in the summer, and the tree lighting in the winter. Portland is my home. Ptown represent.

Reflection, Part Two

Classes have begun at RPI. Choosing a mixed, stylized schedule, my first day consisted of two art classes, yet tomorrow I face mathematical statistics and combinatorial optimization and integer programming. That's a mouthful and a half. Gathering my materials led me to round up backwork and books that I am lending to friends. On my bookshelf, next to my Econometrics text, I saw a bound paperback leaning very indiscreetly. Being guilty of having a horrible memory, I could not instantly recall what it was, and lifted it out of its nest to rediscover its identity. I found my Senior Reflections.

At Jesuit High School, there is a tradition where seniors are asked to write a personal reflection about their time from the past four years. It is open to almost anything; it just needs to be a personal, meaningful reflection of some part of your time. Browsing back through it, I was struck by two things. The first, is how conversational my composition was. The second, both my own, and many of my closest friends from high school spoke of support, interdependency, and an appreciation of others.

My senior year in high school was an awkward interesting mix of some of my greatest moments with myself and friends, and some of the lowest points of my life. Would I repeat that year? Definitely not, I do not think that I could match that amount of energy, however, there is a point that I wish I could revisit. Sometime that year for me, I became myself. Not completely 100%, but a solid 90%. The remaining bit has come in college. Reflecting back on that year, I have realized that was the first time I became truly comfortable with myself. I have always put up a good face, but deep in the chaos, was a moment where everything clicked. I stood up for myself. I learned to say no. I learned not to ride in cars with boys. I learned to be me.

It is my personal belief that everyone has some moment in life where that great "click" occurs. When your personal universe is perfectly aligned, and the heartstrings of your being perform into the most beautiful symphony of joy. College has not brought new movements to my song, but rather, a polishing of my greatest work--myself.

To borrow a phrase from an old friend, when did you visualize the awesomeness? When did you realize you were truly you, and content? Despite whatever doubts and fears life may bring, you realize it will be at least okay. There are lows, there are highs, and there is life. Make the most of it, your way is best.

Should I?

So I've started sketching more again, due to the large amount of free time over winter break. The question is, can I maintain this once classes start? Taking two art classes, one would suppose a positive yes, but can that be safe from statistics? Mathematical analysis? Economics research? My horrible desire to do everything?

I'm hoping yes. As I think, there isn't much point about this post besides to show off my sketches. Let's be honest, I know that unless I post this to facebook, all of four people will probably read this, therefore, I'm not being that vain in showing off my little sketches. This isn't even quality finished work, just little wisps. Oh well, off to sketch lovelies.



I guess that this is also a call for free, and paid, requests/commissions, since those normally keep me at some level of productivity.



Growing up sucks.

That is all.

Pierogies

Warning: This is a highly visual post.

On Halloween weekend, my good friend Erin and I attempted to make pierogies by scratch. With two people working, which includes talking about it, chatting about life and other things and attempting to figure out what exactly we were supposed to do, it took us around five hours to make a double batch. For reference, a double batch made about 150 pierogies, which sounds like a lot. It's actually not when you volunteer to gift pierogies to male friends who look to pierogies as childhood comfort.

Anywho, my Dad loves pierogies. They were also a comfort from childhood, as I found out when he told my mom he remembered making them with his baba. Thus, I volunteered to make pierogies for my family on Wednesday. The whole process took me about four hours. This shortened time horizon can be explained by not having anyone to converse with, more wine, and only making a single batch (75 pierogies).

For those of you who are not aware of what a pierogie is, it's pretty much a dumpling of Slavic origins. The most common filling is a potato cheese filling--you're probably seen Mrs. T's frozen kinds in the grocery store. Now that you have that bit of knowledge, do you actually know what it takes to make them?

Well I'll show you through pictures! Yay pictures!



The first photo shows the pork filling I made, the initial dough, and in the background there is a pot with potato cheese filling. Honestly, each component is relatively simple, just very time consuming.

After making both the fillings and starting on the dough,



(Potato filling)



Yay dough!

I then floured the dough a bit more and transfered it to an area to roll it out, kneaded it, and rolled it out.



After rolling out, really really really really really thin,



Seriously, it needs to be thin dough. It gets folded over upon itself and to make that amount of dough do that, you need to make sure it's both thin and elastic. Erin and I found this out the first time around and had to do some extra work accordingly. Yes, you might say well why not make more dough per pierogie? Well, that would make them too doughy, especially since you are putting carb inside more carb. It's just overkill that way.

Anyway, after rolling out and cutting into the right shape you can now fill the circles of dough with the filling and fold over to get something that looks like this:



The remaining steps are to cook the pierogies. First, you boil them, and when they float to the top, you can remove them from the water.



To finish, take the boiled pierogies, and sautee them. It gives them a nice finish.



And voila! Finished pierogies in all their pretty perfection for pleasurable dining experiences.



Om nom nom! Traditionally, pierogies are also then served with sour cream, fried bacon and sauteed onions. Many other fillings exist besides the classic potato and cheese, and my pork, such as lamb, just a cheese filling, and buttery cabbage.

Status

This is a quick snapshot, via my phone, of my desk and workspace right now over break. I'm not sure what it says about me currently, however, I am pretty sure there is some sort of correlation between number of drinks on the surface to mental processes. I'll get back to you on that one after further research.

Just a brief post because I am currently sketching everything.

Points to those who can identify each liquid consumed.

God Bless Us, Everyone

Originally, I partially promised that I would write ten paragraphs or some generally long ridiculous length about Christmas. What better day to tackle that feat than Christmas day right? Well, after consideration that feat seems a bit too much to handle after large amounts of chocolates, rib roast, cabernet sauvignon, and my buche de noel, so instead I decided upon a different task. Many years ago, at the conclusion of my senior year at Jesuit, I wrote a little facebook note titled "Wrap Up?". For those of you who are friends of mine online, if you are really curious, you can read the note here. The main crux of the note was a list of things, in a fairly positive light, that I had learned that academic year.

While I am only halfway through the 2010-2011 academic year, we are nearing the end of the calendar year for 2010. Even though it is not the actual end, today is Christmas, and I am choosing to go all Catholic on you all, and say that the birth of Jesus Christ marks a new beginning. With this new beginning, I first choose to reflect upon the old. 2010 has been a turbulent year, only comparable to my senior year at Jesuit for the bad, yet comparable to childhood bliss for the good. There have been ups and downs for me. Relationships have come and gone, perspectives changed, and some friends lost, but many more gained. Through this list, my actions and my smiles, I never want to stop emphasizing how much happiness, gratitude, and love I have towards my friends both old and new.

So here, goes, without much revision, with a grateful prayer and a thankful heart, my lessons gained in 2010 (in no particular order whatsoever because that's who I am):
-Water Polo means I can once again eat as many carbs as I like and still have a small waistline
-Stress kills all appetite
-Even when you are crying, you should listen to your friends and eat some curry
-Emotions scar
-Physical scars are signs of badass adventures, silly clumsiness, and life never to be forgotten
-Pain is necessary, however, it makes the joy so much more golden
-I still rely on spell checkers to spell "necessary" correctly for me
-Some memories can never be erased
-People love me
-I have some of the most caring amazing friends
-Coffee is still my main legal addiction
-Boys can be, and are, silly
-Dance in the sunshine, in the rain, and in the snow
-Sometimes just being there is all someone needs
-Friends with benefits has a time and place
-Honesty is the best policy
-Talk to your siblings
-Long distance friendships can still remain, and may be some of the strongest you will ever know
-Never stop doing what you love, your own creativity and gifts may surprise you
-I learned to stop mistyping "surprise"
-Whiskey is my best friend and worst enemy
-Little moments filled with laughs and whispers are the best kept secrets in your heart
-I am horrible at betting in poker
-Never care what others say, but always be proud of the actions and choices you make--if you cannot live with yourself, then it matters not if others can
-Do not kick trees or houses in tear-driven rage
-Some of the best support comes where you least expect it
-No one ever gives me white wine, except for white zinfandels
-Hug those you appreciate
-Vodka and tequila should not be mixed quickly together
-I still don't like I.P.A.s
-A good cup of tea can help wipe away the worst tears, scars and fears
-I have one of the best roommates anyone could ever ask for
-Anyone can get better at bowling with enough practice
-Wear your best just for yourself
-Brush your teeth before bed
-When you start being sad or getting sick, just start being AWESOME instead
-Smile
-Laugh
-Love
-Live

There are most likely many more lessons I have learned this year, however, these stand as the most important standouts in my life. I hope whoever you are, wherever you are reading these, have a smile brought to your face and maybe a chuckle from my accidental wisdom. I apologize to those I have hurt, both on purpose and accidentally, and to those who I have hurt through hurting myself. I thank those who I have met, who have a brought a smile to my face, and who I have been lucky, silly and witty enough to to bring a smile to their face. Life is a journey, life is cliche, but never forget those who bring love into your life.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, happy generic average day, and may God bless us, everyone.

Sexytime

The little amusements in life come to you in odd forms at random times. Sex is an integral part of who we are, no matter how puritanical, no matter how much denial, and no matter how much you don't want to hear about it. I have sex. You have sex. We have sex. Pronouns have sex. Therefore, people engage in sexytimes as it has been dubbed by my friend Chelsea. By the way, just to clear all doubt, I love you Chelsea.

Sex happens and most likely, if not now, or in the past, most people will engage in sexytimes at some point in life. If this is such a given in life, why are people hesitant to discuss it? We like Popsicle and we discuss those. We dislike angry cats, yet we talk about those. It is possible to talk about good and bad things, and while sex can be both and a flexible range of things in between, we do not talk about it. Why? This question is frustrating to me for many reasons: judgmental society, gender double standards, the virgin/whore complex and general immaturity.

The answer I would like to propose, or at least for this example, is the fact that sex involves people. For the sake of this argument, I'm not including bestiality and performing sexual acts on something that is not another human being. I'm not hatin', it just doesn't suit the framework of this argument. The proposition I present is that society as a whole and people are hesitant, or label it a taboo, to talk about sex because it involves people. The caring optimistic romantic in me chooses to believe that it is out of a natural tendency to not want to hurt or offend others, not because we care about perceived reputations, but for the protection of the partner. You did what? With who? She wanted what? Those kind of questions break away the barriers surrounding people to reach their "true" selves. While one's true self is glorious, beautiful and amazing, it can also be subject to high vulnerability.

Talking about, writing about, thinking about sex can reveal things about people. While they may be false, there also exist truths. The truth is real, brutal, harsh and chilling. It can tear friendships apart, turn friends into mournful strangers and continue to exist as a haunting thirsty ghost long after the initial blow is struck, however, it can reinforce the beauty in friendships and remind you of a treasure you thought you lost.

I am aware that I'm getting kind of preachy and "deep" here, but well, this is subject to my ramblings and rants, and no matter how much I'd like to deny it, I have some things on my mind. I am a whole person, I am comfortable with myself and I feel that I am finally getting close again to being able to call myself a good person. I guess ramblings just wanted to flow out tonight. In relationships, from a one night stand to a intense committed relationship, be respectful. Be caring, considerate and courteous to your fellow man and woman. No one likes kicking walls.

On a lighter note, I also think people don't like talking about sex because the male form is floppity. Yes, floppity. No offense boys, but I think you are. We are all complicated, but we get a nice little cover. While it takes two people to make sexytime, a girl doing sexytime by herself is just a bit jiggly, while boy solo sexytime is floppity.

Finally, body image issues can go suck a blowpop for all I care :D