Saturday, September 18, 2010

Superficial Conundrum

While it is still September, time passes faster than we expect. With that in mind, my 21st birthday is in less than a month, and consequently, Halloween is right around the corner. For many years growing up I was a witch until high school when I dabbled in the classics of being a cowgirl and a 1950s girl, poodle skirt and all.

College came and the dress code limitation flew out the window. That is about all the introduction you need for the precedenting the fact that I was, misguidedly, dressed up as Tinkerbelle freshman year. Sophomore year, with the fever of Dark Knight, I was primed to do a joint costume and be Tim Burton's imagining of Catwoman personified in Michelle Pfeiffer. Unfortunately the neccessary materials did not arrive in time forcing me to default to the transformed Sandy from Grease. At least I helped make Byron a kickass classic Robin costume. Junior year was nothing extraordinary being a mix of flapper and showgirl.

Senior year may be the year of spandex. In a nerdier, truer me, I am currently stuck perplexing over two costume ideas. The first is to be Sheik from LoZ, however, this requires a large investment of both time and cash since I would have to handmake an entire costume with bodysuit panelling. The other alternative is to order a costume, being Padme from Star Wars Episode II in the collosium scene. Yes that movie sucked almost as Episode III, but you have to admit, boots + jumpsuit + blaster = hot. You can't argue with that logic.

I hope to make this decision by the end of the week for either prep time or order processing. What say you folks? Video game or movie?

I really do appreciate when my readers read and comment.

Therefore if you read this post, PLEASE COMMENT!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Wish List Wednesday!

It's that time again folks since I'm back into the swing of things with school, blogging, and sickness! Nothing says back to school like being a walking ball of congested mucus! Every year in college, it never seems to fail that I get sick in the middle of September; I don't know why considering I eat a balanced diet, work out regularly, and try to get 6-8 hours of sleep every night. Karma and my stress just like to work against me I guess.

Anywho, I am sick. Very very sick. I missed my geology I lab this morning. I do not miss class. I do not like missing class, and in short this is an abomination to my soul. I woke up feeling horse, tired, congested, with a sore throat, painful chest cough, mild headache, and a feeling that my whole body ached. Being sick sucks. Therefore the theme of this Wish List Wednesday is designed with an aesthetic towards the medicinal.

First off, if money was no option and comfort was in mind,

Who wouldn't want a fainting couch? Laying around just got more glamorous.

Secondly, one could argue that this doesn't need to be on a wish list, since it is listed at $7.80 and I can purchase it in the store, but I don't have a car. I feel wretched. We're going to go with it.

The "Tao de Fruit" tea from Teavana is one of my favorite herbals, and at the rate that I'm consuming tea, a greater stock is always welcome.

Lastly, at home we have several Pendleton blankets. For those of you who haven't heard of them, they are the most comfortable, warm, and sturdy blankets known to man.

It is a goal of mine in life to have a cedar chest full of these.

With the conclusion of this week's Wish List Wednesday, here's hoping that I don't die tomorrow.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Killing Time and My Liver

Hello folks, all four of you that read my blog. I am currently in the process of better composing my thoughts for part two of my last blog post, but in the meantime I have turned to the substances that make my life a bit more cheery. I made dark chocolate brownies with butterscotch chips last night after having a delightful dinner of a mango teriyaki salmon with stir-fry vegetables.

(Bad picture of my brownies)

Today I had a BLT at Francesca's downtown with Chelsea, and for dinner I made French onion soup with a salad and toast. The moral of the story is that butter, chocolate, and cream help. They don't solve your problems, but damn, they do try to help. The one "vice" food that is currently omitted from my diet of self pity is red wine. Due to silly legal constraints (1 month and 4 days folks!) it takes me longer than I'd like to obtain the burgundy goodness, making its absence from my apartment much too noticeable. With all this time to contemplate the despairing labyrinth that is my mind, I ask you readers, whoever you may be, what is your favorite kind of wine? White or Red? Type?

Any specific recommendations for something new?

Daily Grind Part 2...Also Known as "Duh"

Unfortunately, there is no trace of nutella to be found in my apartment; on the bright side I made dark chocolate brownies with butterscotch chips.

We have all heard that there is beauty in the little things. The simple sudden surprises in life are really what color the pages of our lives. From the movie "Zombieland", I believe that rule #32 is "appreciate the little things". Time and time again I have heard things of this accord, however, although the previous statements originally served as the backbone for this post, they will not be the focus.

Initially appreciating the little things, both special quirks and gestures of appreciation, seemed to be the cure and moral to my relationship puddle of frustration. For those of you who follow me according to my postings and in real life, I am currently in a relationship. While we technically started dating in July, my travels back home and to the Shore, along with our combined work schedules, have caused disruptions in our dating time line. What, chronologically, is two months, is actually half that. Perhaps it simply seems more to me due to my feelings. I try not to divulge too much of my personal life that is directly linked to others on the internet, but I like him.

I really like him.

Having a less than subpar year, or in my prefered term a social nuclear cloud, for relationships both romantic and not last year could give me baggage. It did. It could also have set me up for lower standards, transformed into a cynical pool of hatred and distrust. I am very glad it didn't, but I think that is due to the fact that I have some trust issues to begin with. The baggage slung over my shoulder, under my arm, and strapped to my hands hasn't seemed to interfere though. I really like this guy. Affection rendered me to the level of an annoying air-headed teenage girl over the summer. Like like like. Butterflies in the stomach feelings; those haven't been present for a long while.

This is the reflection point where I almost hope that my boyfriend doesn't read this blog so he doesn't have to roll his eyes at me some more.

In regards to those feelings, everything has been fairly cloud nine for me and us, considering the schedules we have to work with, or so I thought. Bringing me to the conclusion in this two part blog is the "duh" moment, the public service announcement of life: communication is vital and necessary for a healthy relationship. Our schedules caused a bit of a rainy front to conglomerate in my cloud nine. Not seeing someone you care about sucks, however, holding it against them and beating yourself up only sucks more.

Before the action that propelled this post, I was mustering up the gusto to write about appreciating the little things as a way of just getting by, however, as pointed out to me by my boyfriend, the minimum should not be the goal. While there certainly exists value in the little things, you should strive for happiness. Why force yourself to live on bread and water in the desert if the option of steak and potatoes exists? None of this would have occurred to me if I had not done one simple task. Talk to him.

In a two part conversation through AIM and in person, compromise was reached. Sides were understood. I had an end to overly judging and critiquing my every behavior and emotional response. I could go into a lot of psycho babble about upbringing, models of communication and relationships, but I am currently working to separate myself from anything that might be deemed negative in an attempt to better observe it and objectively form intelligent, caring decisions. Communicating with your partner is un-ignorable. Without communication you don't have a relationship. Trust, love, and respect are in there too, but hopefully I don't have any issues with those and no need to write a blog post wringing my insides tighter than my suit after water polo practice. Maybe if you're lucky, a good talk will also lead to a good cuddle.

Who doesn't enjoy a good cuddle?

I am aware that most of this post boils down into one sentence, maybe a paragraph at most of what you should take away from this, or chuckle at me about. You would think that I know to talk to my boyfriend concerning issues. The knowledge is in my head, just sometimes remembering to use it is a bit more difficult. Heck, explore my brain in ODE's while I'm trying to remember back to first semester freshman year in Intro to DiffEq. So yes, "duh" this is obvious, "duh" I should know this, but every once in a while, remembering how to do those things that make a relationship work make the cuddle that much better.

As a final note, what I've been listening to while creating the final composition:

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Return to the Daily Grind

It is currently Saturday, September 11th, 2010. The absence of my blogging from the internet domain has been extended from my original hypothesized two weeks due to the family visit to the Jersey Shore, yard work and friends in Portland, crazy classes and the fact that my "e" key started to stick on my keyboard only after the warranty of my laptop ended. Initially, I thought about commemorating the end to my break with a posting about the Shore, family, a generic "huzzah" to classes or jumping in to the kiddie pool with a toe in Wish List Wednesdays. Stuck in a conundrum of how to end my conundrum, I find myself sitting here, on my couch on a Saturday night with my laptop on my lap, the remains of spaghetti-os and "Julie and Julia" playing on Starz. There will not be a break in the break until I decide to actually get up and do something.

The remarkable thing about tonight has been nothing. Nothing is a good thing. I have been able to eat dinner by myself, lay horizontally on the couch, dip into loneliness and attempt to drag myself out of it. Melodramatic stereotypes aside, I have had some rough patches in life, with the previous semester taking the top tier of the cake of my life. I enjoy the company of others to no end, and there is serenity in silence and being alone, however, I always seem at a cross road on how I can handle myself with just myself in the room. I like to think that I am always there for my friends, and despite my poor judgement, I like to think I chose decent friends to reciprocate those sentiments. Friends and aloneness aren't my difficulty.

Those more than friends people are where life gets tricky.

Boyfriends, boy-toys, romantic interests, gigantic messes, everything in between and those who I care for dearly (family included) can make your life amazing...or resemble a nuclear cloud. While at college, I have experienced homesickness, however, it always seems that longing is worse the closer you are to someone geographically. While I do not like to overly apologize and find it petty and compromising to ones' self, this is one of those posts where I feel that it is necessary to not apologize for my emotions. Stereotypes about overly emotional women be damned. I get lonely easily.

Searching for that someone in your life varies from person to person. I know friends who just seemed to click, from my best friend to a high school acquaintance who has been with his sweetheart all through college. Friends who can't commit for more than a week to those who have almost sworn off the other sex, there yet seems to be a method, even a common thread running through those stories of "the one" or even a "balanced" relationship. What is balance? What is a good relationship? Is it possible to have a "good" relationship even if one of the parties isn't fully whole?

Are these legitimate questions on my part or am I just waisting my time?

This will be a two-part post, with more answers to come after I ponder over a baguette and some nutella. There is nothing that nutella can't help.