Unfortunately, there is no trace of nutella to be found in my apartment; on the bright side I made dark chocolate brownies with butterscotch chips.
We have all heard that there is beauty in the little things. The simple sudden surprises in life are really what color the pages of our lives. From the movie "Zombieland", I believe that rule #32 is "appreciate the little things". Time and time again I have heard things of this accord, however, although the previous statements originally served as the backbone for this post, they will not be the focus.
Initially appreciating the little things, both special quirks and gestures of appreciation, seemed to be the cure and moral to my relationship puddle of frustration. For those of you who follow me according to my postings and in real life, I am currently in a relationship. While we technically started dating in July, my travels back home and to the Shore, along with our combined work schedules, have caused disruptions in our dating time line. What, chronologically, is two months, is actually half that. Perhaps it simply seems more to me due to my feelings. I try not to divulge too much of my personal life that is directly linked to others on the internet, but I like him.
I really like him.
Having a less than subpar year, or in my prefered term a social nuclear cloud, for relationships both romantic and not last year could give me baggage. It did. It could also have set me up for lower standards, transformed into a cynical pool of hatred and distrust. I am very glad it didn't, but I think that is due to the fact that I have some trust issues to begin with. The baggage slung over my shoulder, under my arm, and strapped to my hands hasn't seemed to interfere though. I really like this guy. Affection rendered me to the level of an annoying air-headed teenage girl over the summer. Like like like. Butterflies in the stomach feelings; those haven't been present for a long while.
This is the reflection point where I almost hope that my boyfriend doesn't read this blog so he doesn't have to roll his eyes at me some more.
In regards to those feelings, everything has been fairly cloud nine for me and us, considering the schedules we have to work with, or so I thought. Bringing me to the conclusion in this two part blog is the "duh" moment, the public service announcement of life: communication is vital and necessary for a healthy relationship. Our schedules caused a bit of a rainy front to conglomerate in my cloud nine. Not seeing someone you care about sucks, however, holding it against them and beating yourself up only sucks more.
Before the action that propelled this post, I was mustering up the gusto to write about appreciating the little things as a way of just getting by, however, as pointed out to me by my boyfriend, the minimum should not be the goal. While there certainly exists value in the little things, you should strive for happiness. Why force yourself to live on bread and water in the desert if the option of steak and potatoes exists? None of this would have occurred to me if I had not done one simple task. Talk to him.
In a two part conversation through AIM and in person, compromise was reached. Sides were understood. I had an end to overly judging and critiquing my every behavior and emotional response. I could go into a lot of psycho babble about upbringing, models of communication and relationships, but I am currently working to separate myself from anything that might be deemed negative in an attempt to better observe it and objectively form intelligent, caring decisions. Communicating with your partner is un-ignorable. Without communication you don't have a relationship. Trust, love, and respect are in there too, but hopefully I don't have any issues with those and no need to write a blog post wringing my insides tighter than my suit after water polo practice. Maybe if you're lucky, a good talk will also lead to a good cuddle.
Who doesn't enjoy a good cuddle?
I am aware that most of this post boils down into one sentence, maybe a paragraph at most of what you should take away from this, or chuckle at me about. You would think that I know to talk to my boyfriend concerning issues. The knowledge is in my head, just sometimes remembering to use it is a bit more difficult. Heck, explore my brain in ODE's while I'm trying to remember back to first semester freshman year in Intro to DiffEq. So yes, "duh" this is obvious, "duh" I should know this, but every once in a while, remembering how to do those things that make a relationship work make the cuddle that much better.
As a final note, what I've been listening to while creating the final composition: