Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Reflection, Part Two

Classes have begun at RPI. Choosing a mixed, stylized schedule, my first day consisted of two art classes, yet tomorrow I face mathematical statistics and combinatorial optimization and integer programming. That's a mouthful and a half. Gathering my materials led me to round up backwork and books that I am lending to friends. On my bookshelf, next to my Econometrics text, I saw a bound paperback leaning very indiscreetly. Being guilty of having a horrible memory, I could not instantly recall what it was, and lifted it out of its nest to rediscover its identity. I found my Senior Reflections.

At Jesuit High School, there is a tradition where seniors are asked to write a personal reflection about their time from the past four years. It is open to almost anything; it just needs to be a personal, meaningful reflection of some part of your time. Browsing back through it, I was struck by two things. The first, is how conversational my composition was. The second, both my own, and many of my closest friends from high school spoke of support, interdependency, and an appreciation of others.

My senior year in high school was an awkward interesting mix of some of my greatest moments with myself and friends, and some of the lowest points of my life. Would I repeat that year? Definitely not, I do not think that I could match that amount of energy, however, there is a point that I wish I could revisit. Sometime that year for me, I became myself. Not completely 100%, but a solid 90%. The remaining bit has come in college. Reflecting back on that year, I have realized that was the first time I became truly comfortable with myself. I have always put up a good face, but deep in the chaos, was a moment where everything clicked. I stood up for myself. I learned to say no. I learned not to ride in cars with boys. I learned to be me.

It is my personal belief that everyone has some moment in life where that great "click" occurs. When your personal universe is perfectly aligned, and the heartstrings of your being perform into the most beautiful symphony of joy. College has not brought new movements to my song, but rather, a polishing of my greatest work--myself.

To borrow a phrase from an old friend, when did you visualize the awesomeness? When did you realize you were truly you, and content? Despite whatever doubts and fears life may bring, you realize it will be at least okay. There are lows, there are highs, and there is life. Make the most of it, your way is best.

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