Just Can't Get Enough of that Sexiness

While there are many things that separate men from women, there exists a smaller number of things that unite them. Food, drink, certain activities, and most obviously sex. Now while both sexes like, enjoy and interact in sexual intercourse and behaviors, the way that each side approaches it just causes another split entirely. After my own reflection and a somewhat non-enlightening and predictable conversation with Chelsea, I'd like to touch on that icing on the sex cake, lingerie.

Lingerie shouldn't be that hard, however, it easily gets divided into to categories: what is "sexy" and what is practical or comfortable. These garments include underwear (I do not say or like the word "panties"), bras or brassieres, corsets, shape-wear, tights and stockings, garters, chemises, slips and many subcategories of those garments which I do not understand. "Comfortable" things tend to invoke images of soft cotton, satin, cotton-poly blends and soft fibers such as the camisole and underwear combination modeled by my biggest girl-crush below:

Victoria's Secret, the queen of all things gravity defying even has a collection called "Victoria's Secret Soft" which seems to be perfect for sleeping by yourself, lounging around the house, or for those with committed relationships. Cotton is one of the most comfortable fibers in my opinion for casual rays of sunshine flowing through your windows as you wistfully pen your thoughts of the world and love in a leather bound journal.

What I am attempting to get at is that most "comfortable" lingerie lacks the instant sex appeal that results in a sudden increase of elevation for a certain male body part. Therefore, by contrast "sexy" lingerie fills the roll of male gravity defiance. These types of garments, following set theory logic seem to define that the union of "comfortable" and "sexy" is the set of all lingerie, while the intersect of "sexy" and "comfortable" is the empty set. The two seem to be mutually exclusive and independent.

"Sexy" lingerie involves lace, mesh, black, red, pink, revealing combinations of fabric designed to go straight to sex. There is not mental hurdle to be leaped, you see it, and the image and desire is there. Unfortunately, most of "sexy" lingerie, like this little number is so revealing that a shot or self-esteem of steel is required.

I could go on to a lengthy argument about the difference between men and woman's sexual desires, but I'd chose to not be a sour-puss since I do believe there is some overlap. There is hope people! Occasionally retailers develop something that we think exists in the cute and comfy category, namely polka-dots, but is combined with structure to produce creations such as:


and

I mean come on. Ladies you know that polka-dots are cute, yet how did this get into the sexy category?

From my own experience and tale's of friends' trials, the best conclusion that I can come up with is the same as the difference between men and women socializing. We over-analyze too much. For men, it seems, if it makes you look good, then who cares what category it falls into? The only doubt I have about this assumption though is, does it apply to that worn-out tank top and cotton boy-shorts that a girl likes to sleep in? Maybe there is too much societal bullshit programming in my brain, but I feel hard pressed to say that men find comfortable old separates as instantly alluring as some of the above "sexy" images.

The one, personal, item that seems to fit both "sexy" and "comfortable" is an item of underwear constructed purely of lace. Its design eliminates as many seams and stitching as possible, so for a girl it doesn't feel like you are wearing anything. For a guy, well it's black lace, what more do you want?

I suppose I had a conclusion here somewhere along the lines, but it seems to have disappeared into the boning of my corset of sexual insecurities. It would be nice to see society, individuals and clothing not have 9,000 variations on woman's undergarments. We have exhausting combinations to don; men decide between boxers or boxer briefs. Sorry for excluding the guys out there who wear briefs, but really guys, you might want to try something else on. Society seems to mess with the female mind from the second she wakes up. It'd be nice if she could at least make it out of the house without confusion.