Monday, August 2, 2010

Self Indulgent Attention Time

Unfortunately I don't have much to report today. Yes, there were plausible ideas for posts and pondering today, but many lingered only for a second as I spent the bulk of my day baking banana nut muffins, arguing with Time Warner cable, cleaning my apartment and studying like crazy. I am still studying now. I do not know when I am going to be able to cease.

My Actuarial Exam P is on Wednesday.

Nervous doesn't even begin to cover it.

My mom has asked me "so what if after taking the exam, you decide you don't want to do this?". The decision isn't the question. My determination and pure emotion aren't questionable. I want this. Try telling that to my procrastination behemoth fueled by anxious nerves of uncertainty.

I've been here before. I should have studied more. I should have studied harder, better, faster, stronger, all that should have without a Kayne West song. No beats to move me along, just a dreary melody of "should have".

At this point, I'm just going to cave myself in tomorrow apart from a run and the necessary trips to the dining hall for food.

Nerves suck.


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